Dear APP 25: ABPAMCAMFANS

ABPAMCAMFANS
3/13/00

Hey, Jessi,

Thanks for putting up thegripe.com on your fav's list thing. I went to it, and it made me giggle. I find it very, very amusing when people put up gripes about school that mirror those of a bad episode of Dawson's Creek. I'm also surprised that you don't have many "mainstream" links in your favs. I have a link to foxnews.com in my favs, as well as a couple of other links that are pretty well-known. What gives? You think you're too "alternative" for the internet?

Your friend (who will give you a cookie),
Josh

Josh:

Thanks for the cookie. I love cookies. Mmmm…cookies.

As for mainstream links…the only ones I have are so infinitely boring that I would never want to talk about them… cnnfn.com, datek online, they're not really EXCITING or worthy of review. But yes, I am too alternative for the internet. I mean, look at these boots I'm wearing! It's my hobby to seek out the relatively obscure webpages (a la Mulletsgalore) and give them my support. CDNOW doesn't exactly need my endorsement at this point in their career.

Jessi

Dear APP:

Please dispense of these silly chat room discussions about your "hottness"

Install a Web Cam, that you can call the "AbPamCam"

Frockwood@mindspring.com

Dear Fred:

Well, jeez. OK. In all fairness to ME, I didn't start it. I mean, it's not like I put up an essay about how hot I am. I may be self-centered but that's a little much. Is it my fault that the throbbing masses desire more and more personal disclosure? I think you'll agree….no.

But this is the new, accommodating Letters Column…wherein we try and meet everyone's needs.

As to the web cam? I'll look into it, but only if you'll promise to tune in every week to watch it, thus becoming an ABPAMCAMFAN.

Jessi

Jessi-

Okay, so, the vote's in: there was no vote. As much as I *seriously* enjoyed your description of yourself, I'm still not quite sure about yoru degree of hotness. You see, you forgot to include two key elements: legs and elbows. (Yes, you *did* read that right...elbows. I can't help it...total fetish) However, if you're leggy like I imagine you, then that's really really good.

…

Dear Princess e:

I'm sorry, I have to stop you right here…Frockwood has requested that we cease any and all "chat room discussions of my hotness". Unfortunately, the point by point dissection of each of the pros and cons on my hottness can not be listed here. Thank you for your time.

HAPPY FRED?

Jessi

Dear APP READERS:

In an attempt to the question whether "Jessi is Hot" or not, let me answer
this for your readers.

Yes she was/is hot, very hot

Now can you please stop twisting the knife?

Horrible_exboyfriend@hotmail.com

Dear Horrible, and Readers:

Thank you for the sentiment, but we have been ordered to cease any and all discussions of my hotness.

However, let me alert the readers to the fact that I did NOT make this letter up…as much as I am prone to do so, this is from some mystery man from my past, who also sent me some lovely poetry with the letter. (Which proves that he's really NOT the horrible ex boyfriend…if he was, he would have sent Sepultura lyrics)

Love always,

Jessi

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