The Misanthropic Bitch
by Jessi

Wow, boy, is this chick a rebel or what? I would have let this harmless little bitch site go unscathed had I not read the reviews this girl has gotten regarding this stupid, stupid site.*

You have already heard my views on "universal hate" and how easy and cop-outish that sort of attitude is. And nothing makes me laugh harder or longer than hearing a white 21 year old idiot spew her sort of "shocking" attitudes like "if the NAZI party ever comes back to power I’ll be goosestepping right along with them". Wow, bitch. It’s so shocking to hear you talk about NAZIs. I can talk about NAZIs all day…I can say that Charles Manson was a genius…I can say that I want to fuck fifteen year old boys, I can say that there’s still a part of me that thinks O.J. Simpson is innocent…can I be a living controversy now too? If you’re so proud of your fucking views, put your picture up and give us your address, or are you scared that the NAZIs MIGHT ACTUALLY CALL?

I was intrigued for a little while with this site because I thought that it would be a little bit constructive, or maybe, MAYBE, a little bit funny, and if all else fails, I thought it would be intelligent and well written. Then, when that didn’t go right, I thought that maybe she was actually SO brilliant that she was poking fun at people who actually feel this way. THE MISANTHROPIC BITCH is none of these things, and yet…and yet…she’s been reviewed in GQ, The Village Voice and Eye Magazine, being lauded for her ridiculous rantings that basically say what a lot of people already believe. She just says it with a lot more swearing, and uses words like nigger to get her point across. In her rant about child pornography, she comes out and says it should be legal IF YOU ARE NOT THE ONE TAKING THE PICTURES. Well no shit, bitch. Nobody’s busting down doors, searching my unassuming bedroom for pictures of my young lover MATT, but if I decided to post naked pictures of him on the internet with my address and a caption that says "LOOK AT THIS BARELY LEGAL FLESH," it’s a different story. Twisting words to sound profound is so typical of people who have no idea what they’re talking about. You know what I think? I think sadomasochism should be legal, UNLESS THE PEOPLE INVOLVED DON’T WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN SADOMASOCHISM. And that’s my final word. In her running serial column Stupid Teen Girl, she makes fun of middle class white teenagers. Well, thank God she thought of it. I’ve never heard of someone go THAT route. Maybe bitch should start writing for MAD magazine, attacking issues just six months past their relevance. And ABORTION protestors…that’s a big, huge controversy girl, because you know the internet underground demographic is just so heavily weighted towards pro life these days. Misanthropic Bitch reminds me of an acquaintance of mine who told me she "was against war". And I was glad we weren’t in the same room when she said it, because my eyes rolled so hard I saw SPARKLES.

In her F.A.Q., bitch is asked the probing questions (which she wrote herself): If you hate the world so much, why don’t you kill yourself? And her answer is, she wants to stick around to witness the imminent destruction of ourselves, which isn’t far off. I’ve never heard a more definitive reason for me to work towards propagating the species in my life. My new goal is to make the life of this bitch MORE MISERABLE, so she has to stay alive longer.

Listen, don’t get me wrong, I hate a lot of things. REALLY REALLY HATE a lot of things. I hate a lot of people, there are even two or three people that I actively wish death on, and I’ve had a lot of wrongs done to me…but in this short short life that I’ve been granted, I would just much rather emphasize the things I LOVE, or the things I THINK I CAN FIX through writing or ranting. If you wanted hate, y’all should have said something, we would have reviewed Supernova A LOT sooner.

BUT, as someone who always strives to be fair, I must say that I agree with the Misanthropic Bitch on one little point. NO ONE REALLY READS AYN RAND.

*by the way, if any of you would like to review APP for your school paper, or newsletter at your place of business, or, if by some act of God you work for WIRED magazine or something, just give a shout…we’re looking for the pub!

http://bitch.shutdown.com/index.html

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