The Misanthropic Bitch
by Jessi
Wow, boy, is this chick a rebel or what? I would have let this harmless little
bitch site go unscathed had I not read the reviews this girl has gotten
regarding this stupid, stupid site.*
You have already heard my views on "universal hate" and how easy and cop-outish
that sort of attitude is. And nothing makes me laugh harder or longer than
hearing a white 21 year old idiot spew her sort of "shocking"
attitudes like "if the NAZI party ever comes back to power I’ll be
goosestepping right along with them". Wow, bitch. It’s so shocking to hear
you talk about NAZIs. I can talk about NAZIs all day…I can say that Charles Manson
was a genius…I can say that I want to fuck fifteen year old boys, I can say
that there’s still a part of me that thinks O.J. Simpson is innocent…can I be a
living controversy now too? If you’re so proud of your fucking views, put your
picture up and give us your address, or are you scared that the NAZIs MIGHT
ACTUALLY CALL?
I was intrigued for a little while with this site because I thought that it
would be a little bit constructive, or maybe, MAYBE, a little bit funny, and if
all else fails, I thought it would be intelligent and well written. Then, when
that didn’t go right, I thought that maybe she was actually SO brilliant that
she was poking fun at people who actually feel this way. THE MISANTHROPIC BITCH
is none of these things, and yet…and yet…she’s been reviewed in GQ, The Village
Voice and Eye Magazine, being lauded for her ridiculous rantings that basically
say what a lot of people already believe. She just says it with a lot more swearing,
and uses words like nigger to get her point across. In her rant about child
pornography, she comes out and says it should be legal IF YOU ARE NOT THE ONE
TAKING THE PICTURES. Well no shit, bitch. Nobody’s busting down doors,
searching my unassuming bedroom for pictures of my young lover MATT, but if I
decided to post naked pictures of him on the internet with my address and a
caption that says "LOOK AT THIS BARELY LEGAL FLESH," it’s a different
story. Twisting words to sound profound is so typical of people who have no
idea what they’re talking about. You know what I think? I think sadomasochism
should be legal, UNLESS THE PEOPLE INVOLVED DON’T WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN SADOMASOCHISM.
And that’s my final word. In her running serial column Stupid Teen Girl, she
makes fun of middle class white teenagers. Well, thank God she thought of it.
I’ve never heard of someone go THAT route. Maybe bitch should start writing for
MAD magazine, attacking issues just six months past their relevance. And
ABORTION protestors…that’s a big, huge controversy girl, because you know the internet
underground demographic is just so heavily weighted towards pro life these
days. Misanthropic Bitch reminds me of an acquaintance of mine who told me she
"was against war". And I was glad we weren’t in the same room when
she said it, because my eyes rolled so hard I saw SPARKLES.
In her F.A.Q., bitch is asked the probing questions (which she wrote herself):
If you hate the world so much, why don’t you kill yourself? And her answer is,
she wants to stick around to witness the imminent destruction of ourselves,
which isn’t far off. I’ve never heard a more definitive reason for me to work
towards propagating the species in my life. My new goal is to make the life of
this bitch MORE MISERABLE, so she has to stay alive longer.
Listen, don’t get me wrong, I hate a lot of things. REALLY REALLY HATE a lot of
things. I hate a lot of people, there are even two or three people that I
actively wish death on, and I’ve had a lot of wrongs done to me…but in this
short short life that I’ve been granted, I would just much rather emphasize the
things I LOVE, or the things I THINK I CAN FIX through writing or ranting. If
you wanted hate, y’all should have said something, we would have reviewed
Supernova A LOT sooner.
BUT, as someone who always strives to be fair, I must say that I agree with the
Misanthropic Bitch on one little point. NO ONE REALLY READS AYN RAND.
*by
the way, if any of you would like to review APP for your school paper, or
newsletter at your place of business, or, if by some act of God you work for WIRED
magazine or something, just give a shout…we’re looking for the pub!
http://bitch.shutdown.com/index.html
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Absurd Pamphlet Press