Eye of the Beholder
Reviewed by Jessi. GO

Retarded apes could make a better movie than this. GO

Kiss or Kill
A review by Jessi, coupled with a rant. GO!

Man On The Moon
Wow, a movie just as inscrutable as Andy Kaufman was. GO

The Institute of Official Cheer
A Web Review by Jessi - GO

The Best Films of 1999
And we promise, no big dance numbers. GO!

The Green Mile
A review from the yellow. GO!

End of Days
How can I root against someone wanting to have sex with Robin Tunney? GO!

The World
Yes, the world... it... needs our help. GO!

Being John Malkovich
Why couldn't it have been Being Pierce Brosnan? Or Being Whoever Jennifer Lopez Is Dating Right Now? Now THAT would have been a movie. GO

Sleepy Hollow
Does the man with no head deliver? Read this and find out... GO

Joint Review - The World Is Not Enough
We both saw it, and we both agree - it stunk to high heaven. COME ON, Brosnan! Just kidding. GO

The Xpertsite
A Chance For the Pieholes To Wield Their Prowess in All Subjects. GO

A Fun Zone

A New Mind Candy Outlet for The Jabbering Pieholes. GO.

Princess Mononoke
Where did all the good fantasy movies go? To Japan, apparently. GO

Dido - No Angel
An acquisition born of an obsession...how poetic is that? GO


The Limey
If a man can portray General Zod, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, and the Limey in one career, then he's OK in my book. GO

The Gripe
Another Amazingly Appropriate Affiliate for the APP. GO

Monday Night Football
It's more than a violent, gruesome display of testosterone. It's hilarious, spontaneous entertainment for man and woman. GO

A Review of Jessi's Laminated List
A fantasy world is useless unless it's properly organized. GO

A Review of The Review of Our Logo
Jessi makes a strong statement FOR the APP logo. GO

The Free Arcade
Two words I thought I'd see side by side only in heaven. We introduce the very first of our high-quality affiliate links. GO

Roswell  - A Review
The woman who thinks E.T. should have been destroyed on sight reviews the new "X-Files-meets-Dawson-Creek" show. GO

Our Logo
The APP logo takes up 17KB of space. Is it really worth it? GO

Salem's Lot
Yes, I KNOW this is a really old movie. But I recently saw it again, and had some thoughts. GO

The Guests That Were No Trouble
I review the most recent visit to my apartment by out of town guests. It was a tense two days, people. GO

Live Aus Berlin
It's not just some Gwar show with people throwing buckets of shit at you - it all has a point. GO

A human being? Submitted for review? YES, and HOW!  GO!


An Evening With Rammstein
I don't know much, but I know I love them...and that's all I need to know. GO

My Doctor's Visit
Esperanto, wrong names and pelvic exams. It must be Illinois Masonic.  GO

Notting Hill
Hugh Grant seems to do one thing, and one thing only, and I'm ashamed to say that it's alright with me. GO

The Mummy
It's not so much the Mummy that bothered me, as THE CELL PHONES. GO

The Matrix
The movie was REALLY good up until it turned into almost exclusively a kung-fu flick. GO

A near death experience at a rave never looked so good! GO!

My Haircut
My theory is, the lady must have been thinking about something else while she cut my hair. GO

Good music, good times... If... you're into cellos. GO

Nyquil Liquicaps
Laughter may be the best medicine, but it doesn't make you tingle. GO


© 2000 Absurd Pamphlet Press