THE GIFT FROM SPACE
Part 2

 

There was not such surprise among the people of Earth when another alien ship was spotted turning the curve around the orbit of the moon, also coming from the direction of Alpha Centauri.

"We bring you gifts," said the alien pilot as it disembarked from its glowing craft. The ship, which seemed to consist of nothing but a series of pulsing lights contained within a transparent globe, had been brought to rest on the White House lawn in the exact spot as had the ship before it.

"It looks like it's made of wood," remarked the President. "What is it?"

"Oh, nothing - just the most advanced beverage coaster you've ever seen!" said the alien.


 
Right away the President could see that this representative was of a different race than the previous visitor - he (it?) was garbed in a long, silken robe, which had a single hole cut in its front, and seemed to defy gravity as it bobbed in the air in front of him.

"The people of Earth extend their most sincere welcome to you!" said the President. "And we can't wait to see what you've brought us!"

A slender blue tentacle emerged from the hole in the front of the robe. Curled in the tip was a small brown disk, which the alien pilot extended to the anxious President.

"It looks like it's made of wood," remarked the President, turning it over in his hands. "What is it?"

"Oh, nothing - just the most advanced beverage coaster you've ever seen!" said the alien, its gravity-defying bobbing becoming faster. Another tentacle slithered out of the robe, and the two appendages began clapping together in excitement.

"I... see," said the President, still turning the coaster over in his hands.

"It will hover in mid-air near your desk at all times," said the pilot. "It can support up to a HALF-GALLON of weight, and it will keep your coffee at a standard hot temperature!"

"This is truly a marvel," said the President, not smiling.

"Make no mistake!" said the pilot. "This will send your primitive coaster technology into the NEXT AGE! With this, you can truly be called an 'advanced civilization!'"

"We are VERY grateful," said the President grimly. "But I would be remiss if I didn't say to you..." - And here the world leader remembered to put on his best diplomacy face - "that from a space-faring civilization such as yours, we expected something a little bit more..." The President groped for the words.

"More...?" prompted the alien.

"More USEFUL," he finally said.

"Useful," said the alien, and both blue tentacles withdrew into the robe. The excited bobbing in air slowed. Its eyes, which were arranged on its face in a very similar fashion to humans, appeared to stare into space thoughtfully for a moment.

"I hope I haven't offended you," said the President carefully.

The alien waved the comment away. "Not at all, not at all," it said. "I'm just considering."

The two representatives of their races stood on the White House lawn in silence for a few moments. The President wondered what the protocol was in situations like this.

Suddenly the alien pilot broke the silence.

"We can also offer you an advanced set of prefixes!" said the pilot, and the excited bobbing began again. "Prefixes such as your race has never dreamed of!"

"Um... prefixes?" asked the President.

"Yes!" said the pilot, its earlier enthusiasm returning. "With our advanced technology, you will no longer be limited to such underdeveloped prefixes as 'quasi-,' 'semi-,' or 'demi-!' With THESE, you will be freed from your pitiful, garbled language! You'll be able to express yourself in a way that is truly becoming an advanced race!"

"That's tempting!" said the President. "Tempting indeed! But... I'm not sure we need any help with our language." He signaled for his advisors to return to their offices.

"What's that? Sorry, I don't understand those noises you're making..." said the pilot, exaggeratedly cupping a tentacle to its ear.

"Cut it out," said the President.


 

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