THE GIFT FROM SPACE IV:
The Search for The
Simple Acknowledgement of Our Existence
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The Yetis moved swiftly down from the
Arctic into all the major cities. Before the world's defenses could react,
they had themselves positioned to hold the world fast in their icy fist.
Checkmated almost before the game had started, the armies and citizens of
the world braced themselves for the chill winds of the Yeti offensive.
Everyone
expected the Yetis to be cold, but no one expected them to be so...
ALOOF.
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And soon it became clear that the glacial intruders meant business.
Everyone expected the Yetis to be cold, but no one expected them to be
so... ALOOF.
Before the world's leadership could react, the Yeti hordes were
systematically ignoring, affecting disinterest, and being standoffish
towards the entire planet.
NATO and the UN began a joint effort to interest the Yetis. The European
Union attempted to engage them in conversation. The combined armies of
China, India, and South Africa tried to entertain them for a solid week -
all to no avail. The Yetis gave no sign that they even knew humans existed.
"Their indifference is... well, it's unsettling," complained the
President. "Sometimes it's like they're not even hearing me when I'm
talking to them!"
"It's like they don't even care," agreed his advisors.
"It's OK to be detached, but at some point it becomes rude,"
concurred the experts.
With the help of his advisors, the President managed to contact the
cube-headed aliens.
"Hello, yes," shouted the President into the microphone, his
voice crackling through millions of miles. "We'd... uh, like you to
send the Yetis back now."
It was almost ten minutes before the response came back, crackling and
faint over the speaker. "They are YOUR Yetis," said the alien.
"Besides, you said you didn't have any trouble with them."
The President sighed. "Well, NOW we do."
"Hmmm. If only you'd had some early warning?" asked the Alien,
and the connection was abruptly broken.
The American President was beside himself. "What can we do?" he shouted
at an emergency assembly of his Cabinet and Staff. "It's not like
we're asking them to be our best FRIENDS, for God's sake! We'd just like a
simple acknowledgement from them that we even EXIST!"
After a long silence, one of the senior staff members cleared her throat.
"Mr. President, a group of us foresaw the potential for this sort of
crisis back in the sixties," she said. "And we prepared a
contingency plan just in case."
"Oh? Let's have it," said the President impatiently.
"Well," said the senior staff member, "for some time, we've
had a special team of scientists working to develop... an ANTI-Yeti."
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