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My Haircut
A Review by Chris
McCaleb
Funny - I don't
remember telling the lady who cut my hair today to "make me look like
a dickhead."
Because that's what I find myself looking like now - a dickhead. My haircut
has a roughly pyramidal shape - it comes to a single point on the top of my
head. And, much like the actual Pyramids in Egypt, it tends to decay from
its true tetrahedral shape as you get towards the bottom. In the case of
the actual Pyramids, the cause of the decay is of course simply thousands
of years of erosion. But in the case of my haircut, I'm guessing that the
lady who cut it today - the one I did not specifically instruct to not make
me look like a Pyramid - perhaps "drifted" as she got to that
part of my haircut. Perhaps she was thinking back to an earlier haircut.
Perhaps she was admiring the neat point that my hair came to on top. Perhaps
she was thinking of a trip she had taken as a girl to see the remarkable
Valley of the Kings with its ancient monuments to the Pharoahs.
Now, in the defense of this lady, I did not request that I did NOT want to
look like a Pyramid dickhead. Perhaps if you don't SPECIFICALLY mention it,
it's simply implied at the haircut place I went to today.
If you saw me right now - that is, before I get the chance to get into the
bathroom and see if I can reshape my hairdo back towards something
resembling my normal cut with a variety of my wife's mouses and gels -
you'd revert back to your bullying days and want to beat me up. Simply
because my hair is so damn stupid. Even if you HAD no bullying days, you'd
STILL want to smack me around, for daring to come to school with such an
irritating, dickhead, Pyramid-like haircut. Hell, I even want
to smack me around.
Whatever the case, I am saddened, because this is the second bad haircut
I've received in this place. And dammit, it was SO convenient - right there
by the Barnes and Noble, the bank, the comic book store, the movie
theatre... in short, the center of my universe. And now I'll have to find
another place.
A women named Yola used to cut my hair there, but she left. It seems that
every time I find someone that does it right, they leave. I must drive them
away somehow with my annoying hair-demands. Come back, Yola!
Rating: D-
Compared To The Butt-Cut Days: Maybe not THAT bad, but approaching
it.
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