My Haircut
A Review by Chris McCaleb

Funny - I don't remember telling the lady who cut my hair today to "make me look like a dickhead."

Because that's what I find myself looking like now - a dickhead. My haircut has a roughly pyramidal shape - it comes to a single point on the top of my head. And, much like the actual Pyramids in Egypt, it tends to decay from its true tetrahedral shape as you get towards the bottom. In the case of the actual Pyramids, the cause of the decay is of course simply thousands of years of erosion. But in the case of my haircut, I'm guessing that the lady who cut it today - the one I did not specifically instruct to not make me look like a Pyramid - perhaps "drifted" as she got to that part of my haircut. Perhaps she was thinking back to an earlier haircut. Perhaps she was admiring the neat point that my hair came to on top. Perhaps she was thinking of a trip she had taken as a girl to see the remarkable Valley of the Kings with its ancient monuments to the Pharoahs.

Now, in the defense of this lady, I did not request that I did NOT want to look like a Pyramid dickhead. Perhaps if you don't SPECIFICALLY mention it, it's simply implied at the haircut place I went to today.

If you saw me right now - that is, before I get the chance to get into the bathroom and see if I can reshape my hairdo back towards something resembling my normal cut with a variety of my wife's mouses and gels - you'd revert back to your bullying days and want to beat me up. Simply because my hair is so damn stupid. Even if you HAD no bullying days, you'd STILL want to smack me around, for daring to come to school with such an irritating, dickhead, Pyramid-like haircut. Hell, I even want to smack me around.

Whatever the case, I am saddened, because this is the second bad haircut I've received in this place. And dammit, it was SO convenient - right there by the Barnes and Noble, the bank, the comic book store, the movie theatre... in short, the center of my universe. And now I'll have to find another place.

A women named Yola used to cut my hair there, but she left. It seems that every time I find someone that does it right, they leave. I must drive them away somehow with my annoying hair-demands. Come back, Yola!

Rating: D-

Compared To The Butt-Cut Days: Maybe not THAT bad, but approaching it.