In Defense of Livin'
La Vida Loca
By Jessica
McCartney
Ahem - hello...(tapping on
microphone)...HELLO...(turning microphone down)...Hello.
Hi. My name is Jessica, and I am a fan of all sorts of music.
(spattering of applause) I, for as much as I rant and rave about
Rammstein and V.A.S.T. and Metallica and Orgy and mean groups like that,
also love Garth Brooks, and The Monkees. I love Duran Duran and opera
and Mozart and the Official DisneyWorld Soundtrack. What I'm saying
is...really...I love the song Livin' La Vida Loca.
(murmurs, hushed awe...some snickers go up)
Don't throw those candy bars at me. What I'm trying to tell you is...YOU ALL
LIKE THAT SONG TOO. Or at least you DID, at some point. It's
not Ricky's fault that you don't like it any more. It's the god damn
mother f-ing radio! Don't you see? They get a hold of these
songs.these good songs...and they treat them like little husky boys at fat
camp. They run them around and make them play and run and run and run
and play and play, until they just drop. And when they drop, we say
good riddance...we were tired of you anyway. Friends! Don't let
this happen to Ricky Martin and his fun, peppy, irresistible dance
tune. Let me tell you something.when I first heard this song, I
jumped from my chair and got jiggy. I danced around my living room,
shaking my "money maker" for all it was worth, proclaiming my
love of Ricky Martin and his pop/latin fusion beat.and then it began.
I heard it every time I turned on the radio...Ricky Martin was on every
talk show...he was on Saturday Night Live...he performed ON THE TODAY SHOW
for the love of God.
(more murmurring...someone whispers "no!")
We've reached the saturation point people. I love Livin' La Vida
Loca...but if I have to hear it ONE MORE TIME... (shaking fist and
head...crowd yells AMEN) I've seen it before ladies and
gentlemen...the butchering of a good song. We Built This City...I
Will Always Love You...People Are People...and more recently...WALKIN' ON
THE SUN...CLOSER TO FREE. BLUE MONDAY and yes, friends...yes...I'll admit
it...Du Hast. DU HAST. Yes, I do...I hate you for what you've
become. You've become a song that is heard in the background of
commercials for Howard Stern, and that's not right.
So, friends, I say.SAVE LA VIDA LOCA! Turn off your radio...turn off
MTV...put this song away for a while...then, one day in October...when it's
gloomy and cold...crank that mother and dance in your living room...then
you'll remember how much you loved it.the day it first came out.
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